Hello Everyone,
So it's been a long time since i wrote here - slightly less than 3 years to be exact. A lot of life stuff has happened. However, originally i wanted to use this space to document my spinal surgery therefore it's only fitting that i give an update. As i've said before, when i was getting ready to have my surgery i would look online and try and find as many blogs on it as possible.. but there wasn't really any, so if my blog posts help just one person then i''ll be happy. So without much more to say.. lets get started...
How am I now?
I know this is quite a broad question, but in terms of my spinal fusion, i'm doing well. I had my surgery on July 10th 2017, So right now, it's been 3 years and 13 days.
I'm not going to lie and say it's been an easy road because it hasn't been. There's been a lot of tears and 'why me?' but i've come to terms with the situation that i find myself in now and i want to get on with my life as best as I can.
The question i get asked most is 'Are you out of pain' and the blunt answer to that is No. Unfortunately, Im one of the unlucky ones and for some unknown reason i still struggle with back pain. I don't put this down to anything my surgeon did or how i looked after myself afterwards, i just think it's possible that i had the surgery too late (early 20's) or i have never built up enough body strength to be able to not be in pain.. i guess, nobody really know's and that pain is something i just have to live with. My main goal of having the surgery was to have the comfort of knowing my back could not get worse. and that's been achieved. Being out of pain was always going to be a bonus and like i said, unfortunately this hasn't been the case but i can do almost everything i wanted to do.
How do you manage chronic back pain?
I'm a very active person and one thing i've learnt (and probably still learning) to do, is listen to my body. My back will hurt when i've done a lot of exercise or been sat to long and i have to remember to recognise it and say 'okay, Im going to have a rest' or 'i need to be active'.
But on the other hand, I'm a very stubborn and determined person.. probably even more so now. I have to prove both to myself and everybody else that i can do what they can. The other day for example, i walked 16 miles. I was in quite a bit of pain at the end, but i rested and took care of myself afterwards and had that satisfaction of knowing that i don't have to limit myself.
You can do whatever you put your mind to.
That being said, i also have learnt strategies to help my pain.
1. I often take pain killers - especially on days where i know i'll be doing a lot of exercise. I don't wait for the pain to set in before i start taking them either. I will take some Ibuprofen before i leave the house, and then alternate between paracetamol and IB throughout the day (keeping an eye on the timings of course). This just takes the edge off. (my family and friends joke that i'm a walking pharmacist!)
2. Regular breaks - If I'm doing a full day walking or out and about, it helps to take regular breaks to properly sit down and give my back a rest.
3. I love a hot bath - i mean, who doesn't? This gives you muscles a chance to relax and heat is one of the best medicines.
4. Pilates - I know some people swear by this - sometimes i find it helps and sometimes not so much but just having a good stretch can really help ease back pain and make you feel more comfortable.
5. Massage Machine - I only invested in one of these about 6 months ago and MY GOD i wish i had got one sooner. It is honestly a god send.
These are just things that have helped me, everyone is different so i recommend you try anything and everything you can to find what works for you.
How long did it take to be able to get back to normal life?
My spinal surgery was at the beginning of July, i took an entire 4 months to let myself recover and got a full job at the end of October. It came at a good time in my life as i had just finished University and was able to take the break before finding a job.
Depending on your life situation i would recommend taking atleast a few months out because there is nothing worse than going back to a full time job or commitment if you're not ready.
Post operative depression
I want to touch on this subject because i think people should be aware and i don't want to hide anything that i've been through and might affect you if you are going through this surgery, I was never told how low i would feel during my months of healing. I thought i'd feel relieved at finally having the surgery and happy to be having a rest. But it turned out to be the opposite. I felt useless. I felt frustrated at not being able to do even basic things. I felt angry because why did this have to happen to me, what had i done to deserve it. I felt bored and depressed and lonely.
I had an experience in hospital, and to most people, it probably sounds stupid but for me, it stayed with me for a very long time. It involved being told to move from my bed into a wheel chair for some scans. Keep in your mind, i hadn't stood up yet, i was being very sick and i was in a lot of pain (due to not taking the morphin offered and having no other pain relief) It felt de-grading and humiliating and for months afterwards this experience replayed throughout my head.
I partially regret not seeking help for the mental struggle i went through. In some ways the mental struggle was a lot more painful than the physical. But it got easier and it's still getting easier.
Do seek help, from a professional, a friend, family. We always concentrate on how these things affect your body but it's also important to think about your mental health and ensure you're getting the support you need.
Do you have limits on what you can and can't do?
Yes and no. Right now i feel i can do pretty much everything i want to do activity wise. I can walk as far as i could before - and i'm sure if i wanted to build on this i could. I can ride rollercoasters, I can do most sport - swimming, tennis, hiking etc. (cycling can be a struggle) but for the majority of things i no longer feel limited. You may have to work really hard to get back in full fitness and be able to do some things but just know that you can.
There are of course somethings you shouldn't do - heavy lifting, bungie jumping, skydiving - things that put pressure on your spine basically. However, i'm a firm believer of listening to your body. Just because someone says you shouldn't do those things doesn't mean you can't - it just means you need to be aware and possibly extra careful.
I'm going to leave this post here. I hope this has helped anybody considering spinal fusion surgery - if you have any questions please don't be afriad to ask.
Much love.
Hannah x
